The TakeOver

My happiness and frustrations with life. Its the little things that count. Learning that stress only blocks your blessings so.... let that sh*t go!

Idk if I’ve said this before but ur 20s are the hardest years of your life. They gotta be. Don’t debate. If you’re forty and reading this don’t tell me about how u wish you could go back. Don’t care. I’m not forty. I’m in my 20s n it sucks.

I have a job that while I’m grateful for it isn’t the least bit fulfilling. I have responsibilities that I never thought I would and to top it all off everyone simply wants you to just deal with everything with a smile. Well … Oh well. I’m not smiling.

I will say some things I have caused and others people have caused for me. Either way I have to deal with it everyday. I can barely vent because then people think I’m being ungrateful or when something good does happen I unfortunately have to deal with the “friend” who is unsupportive.

Trying to discover your purpose through everything is the most difficult part of it all. Everyone has their own agenda and motive for you in their life and it usually comes without consideration of you. I’m really over it.

I simply want to be happy, whatever that means now. I know what it means for me but I’m learning it comes with a high cost. In the past few weeks I have finally stepped into my purpose, I think and I am happy. However, very few seem to be happy for me. I never thought my friends or family would be so negative after learning that I am happy. Another lesson learned.

People who I thought would be forever have disappeared for the simple fact they don’t agree with my happiness. I may not do things the way people want me to but I am the only one who has to sleep with my decisions. I am the only one who has to deal with the consequence.

I’ve decided from this point forward I don’t want to save the world and be there for every moment people feel I should be available for. I no longer have a concern for people who have no concern for me. I don’t want to deal with everyone’s problems and trying to fix them. I have my own to worry about.

I want to be fulfilled by my own standards that align with my purpose, not everyone’s idea. Life isn’t always going to be easy but I am learning that there are things I can do to make it more simple for me to digest and move past. Something as simple as turning my phone off some days to removing people from my life.

I am fully aware it’s time for a change and that change is coming.

All this to say, we all are going through it. Make sure your mind is clear as possible and you only allow yourself to associate with people who support you.

If they hadn’t told me I was ugly, I never would have searched for my beauty. And if they hadn’t tried to break me down, I wouldn’t have known that I’m unbreakable.
Gabourey Sidibe (via supalifted)

(via word-is-bond)

I was scrolling through my Instagram and found this.

There are times in life when the unexpected will happen and you have two choices; 1) humble yourself and pray to God to intercede or 2) attempt to fix it yourself. Either decision will make for a testimony you never thought you would have. However, I am learning (the hard way as usual) when you choose choice 2, you’re only delaying choice 1.

No detail is necessary, especially on social media but I do know something great is soon to occur as long as I focus on God and his plan for me and not the plans I have for myself. There is a lesson and a testimony in the journey and I cannot wait to share with the world the work that God has done in my life this year.

It’s weird I always said I didn’t want to get all religious on social media due to assumed perspectives. I learned quickly that what I was really saying is “I don’t want people to know who I really am.” These lessons from God have been 15624884% impactful and have allowed me to be comfortable with who I am. So as everything falls apart I continue to remind myself to be unapologetically me and lean on God for my strength and guidance.

It’s a completely new experience to realize you are in fact alone. I don’t know how to explain it so I’ll just write about how all of this happened and maybe it’ll make some sense.

It all started Easter Sunday when I realized my sister wasn’t here. We always did holidays together since my parents lived so far. Well now she’s w them n I’m where I’m at so it was really different. I cried my poor little eyes out then shook it out n went to church. It was crazy to see everyone w their families all jolly n stuff n I’m just like “oh. Hiiii. God bless” I wanted so badly to be able to stand with my parents that day. It was my first Easter without my family. It was truly surreal.

I know everyone reading this is like “shoulda took ya ass own. Yo fault” and that’s fine. I’ve never been homesick though. I had no clue it was hit like this. No one did. I called my mom, she was upset. My sister was feeling some type of way. My dad didn’t say much but he’s always been kinda emotionally quiet. I had never mentioned the words “I wanna come home” except when I was sick one time. Also, to fly that far for 2 nights n 2 days just don’t make sense. N Easter is a high ticket weekend. I got bills. (Welcome to the struggle of what you need and what you want)

So we got over Easter. Cool. Talked it out w the Parentals. Fake hugged it out. All good. Now. The week before at work had been really annoying. Work is always pretty annoying to me. I work w some of the best and also some of the worst. These women love to throw shade then smile. I only smile at the people I like n everyone is full and aware of such. The week after Easter was stupid at work too. I have to remind myself to not bash the job I prayed so hard to get (learned that in church 😉) I try not to vent about work cus I have a pretty dope job when it boils down to it. I try not to seem ungrateful but I got issues too. But I run into the issue everything just builds up cus I know there are people who would love my opportunity and I’m sitting here like “they disorganized. I don’t get paid enough” sounds snotty so I keep it quiet n just be like “work was stupid but I have a job” 😕

So I was talking to a friend about some stuff and she was telling me how when she goes through stuff she talks to her boyfriend and he either motivates her to resolve the issue or they tag team it together. Man my ass busted out in tears. It hit me. I’m single. Like not talking to or entertaining anyone. I have never NEVER been this single lol well not since like junior year high school. It’s kinda appalling now that I think about it.

So many people tell you that you don’t need people, all you need is God, etc. but God placed people on this earth to be in your life. I don’t have the luxury of coming home anymore and laying on the couch and discussing my day w people. Everything is a phone call now. I miss that human interaction that you would have with the people you care most about. I miss the people I care most about.

No one ever told me about this part of growing up. The part where there is going to be a time you have you and you only to rely on. That there are days you are only going to be able to go to God with your issues because everyone is busy. That you’re going to realize that that little sister you can’t stand really was the best friend you never realized you had. No one tells you that because we all come to the conclusion in a different way.

I say all this to say, never take those you care about for granted. You never know when they won’t be at your beckon call. Always remind yourself you are stronger than your situation but be human enough to admit when your weak. Never feel at fault for having emotions and needing to express them. I thank all of my friends who have been there for me the past few weeks without even knowing what’s going on. I appreciate you more than you’ll ever know.

This is the best way I can make all this make sense. At least to me.

This was so on time.

This was so on time.

spiritualinspiration:

Friend, God knows how to make up for years you’ve lost in your life. No, you can’t relive your childhood, but God can make the rest of your life so rewarding, so fulfilling that you don’t even miss what didn’t happen in the past. You may feel like you wasted years in a relationship that didn’t work out. But God can bring somebody into your life so great, so fun, so friendly, so attractive that you don’t even remember the years that you’ve lost. You may have spent years on a job that turned out to be a dead end. You were working your way to the top; things didn’t turn out like you had hoped, and now it looks like there’s a big waste of time. You may not see how you could ever get to where you want to be, but don’t believe those lies. God knows how to make up for lost time. God can accelerate things. God can bring opportunities back across your path that you missed that will thrust you years ahead. It may not have happened the first time, but God will always give you another chance. He’ll make up for the lost time and bring you out better and stronger than ever before!

(via spiritualinspiration)

soundsbycoop:

lmao really dog? nigga went above and beyond just so he wont finish the last 1/4 of a fountain drink.

bet he felt stupid AF cleaning that shit up lol

xodv:

 

 

Communicate: Talk about things, the good and bad. Build trusts. Be honest. Be faithful. Be there for one another. Make time for one another. Leave the past to the past, which include ex’s. Know that having arguments are normal. Know that you won’t always be happy. Don’t expect change. Appreciate the flaws. Appreciate each other. Become best friends. Lastly, love each other unconditionally.

(via word-is-bond)

10000steps:

thedapper-dyke:

Good techniques when having a panic attack…

I think I’ve reblogged this before, but it always helps

(via itsma-ma-mandy)

dogganghappened:

childofwealth:

helloimedua:

sixpenceee:

This is beautiful and it’s amazing to me that it had such a positive outcome and not lifelong hateful grudges, which is probably what these attackers deserved. 

FOR MORE PORTRAITS AND THE OFFICIAL WEBPAGE

This is perfect and beautiful and amazing

Yep, those are tears coming down. This is one of the most beautiful pieces I ever read. 

and here i am unable to forgive someone for hurting my feelings, being upset about the state of my home and finances and these people are able to let go of the hurt they felt, I have it easy. i honestly don’t think that i’d be able to look someone in the eye and for give them for taking a loved one away from me.

(via blackfashion)